So after I told almost each and everyone of my closest friends and family about myself. I thought it would be a good idea to share what I’ve learned with those last 50 outings or so.
Disclaimer: All of these learnings are based on my personal experience with my friends and family. It’s not a guide for an anywhere perfect outing. Nor will they ensure anything. It might just be an inspiration for others. And I want to give hope. With all those bad and sadly true stories about how bad things can go with outings. I want to tell you that the other thing also happens. All of my outings went well, except for the first, where I handled things different then described down there. But I repeat: Good things happen as well!
- Always tell them in person. Don’t write a message. Don’t write a letter. Don’t phone them. Meet them in person and tell them face to face. Show them that their important to you, and that what you’re gonna tell them is something important as well.
- Only tell one person at once, maybe two if they’re a couple. Make sure you have their full attention, and give them your fullest attention. It might get very emotional, so you want to be able to help them at your best.
- Answer their questions. After a few outings you might even know what those questions are before they even ask. So while they’re thinking about what you just said, tell them those answers. And listen to what they say. What they’re afraid of.
- Stay true, always tell the truth. Especially close people might have the feeling that you lied to them, for years. It’s true, but is has it’s reasons. And over time they will understand that. But you just don’t want to lie anymore about yourself.
- Give them time to cope with it. Their whole image of who you are might have just changed a lot. It’s not always easy for them to get their head around this. Especially in our current society, many didn’t know that people like us exist, and are just like any other person.
- Do all of the above as the person they know. Which means you don’t want to show up as the perfect woman/man you are. You go there as they know you. You don’t want to shock them by being completely different, before they know what it’s all about.
- If it feels like a good idea in the moment with the current person you can show them a picture of you. Show them that you’re still just a normal person as anyone else. But just do it, if it feels good.
- Tell them that if they have questions, they can always ask you about it. In my case this didn’t happen often. If they ask too personal stuff, tell them that you don’t want to answer that, it’s too personal. Most times they didn’t think properly about it, so tell them and they’ll most likely understand.
- Wait for a good opportunity/moment. You want to feel good, the other person should be in a general good mood as well. If it doesn’t feel right, try to do it sometime else. Especially on the important ones like family.
- Never prejudice people before you tell them. You don’t want to get prejudiced as well. Many of those of whom I thought would be the most difficult, are some of my best supporters now.
If you’re in that kind of situation I wish you all the best. Be careful, trust your gut and learn from each outing yourself. The first ones are the toughest, but it will get better over time. It won’t be good every time, and if people react badly they sadly don’t know any better. It might be the fault of our society, but this doesn’t excuse any kind of bad reactions. If you loose a friend it is sad, but probably for the best. Because you can just loose people, real friends stay with you.
And if you have even better advises or disagree because of personal experience, please add it here, so we can all help those in the need even better.